The Friend's Menu

There are different friends that you call for different reasons, when we are in the fragile emotional states, you need to decide who to call. It is like choosing food from a menu where love all of it but you need to figure out what would be the best thing for you at that moment.

Sometimes, when you are really pissed off, you need to call a friend to get pissed off with you. It is a bonus if they get even more mad then you and take the anger to another level where you can say, "Yes, I am mad, but now we are being ridiculous." Once you realize this, you can dial it back a bit to find that perfect amount of anger and frustration for the situation.

Other times you just need a friend to cry to and you need to feel better you call someone you know will make you feel better. One friend, I have, read me letters I wrote to him over ten years ago. It was amazing that he had saved them and it reminded me of simpler times.

When you are entirely overwhelmed with a situation you are too close to, you call the friend that tells you how to feel. One time an ex I hadn't spoken to in almost a year sent me a picture message on my birthday, I opened it, thinking it was a birthday wish, to find it was a picture of a girl's left hand with a ring on her finger. We hadn't talked in years, I didn't even know this girl's name. I felt like I had been involved in a drive-by-shooting but really, it was a drive-by-text. I called friend # 3 and she was just the right amount of angry for the both of us.

All of the friend's a great, if you order the wrong one, you can pretend you are getting another call and order someone else. :)

Grieving Process checklist

There are a few steps in my grieving process some more self-destructive than others.

Step 1: Cry and call a best friend who will listen to you cry and say that person X is an asshole and never deserved you anyway. Thank you Kerri. Check.

Step 2: Text a hot member of the opposite sex and schedule a make out session. Man with mysterious pen marks on his door to remain nameless :). Check.

Step 3: Buy *#&% me shoes. Thigh-high boots? Always a practical decision! Check!

Step 4: Change your hair. Called Adam today. Explained it was and emergency, will see him tomorrow. Check.

Step 5: Plan a great weekend with friends.

The Cost of Love

The Cost of Love
Let me preface this, this is not my "usual" type of post, I am usually in a much more upbeat mood. Unfortunately, this has been one of the worst days in a long time.

There are times in our lives when we all suffer the loss of a relationship and have our hearts broken. It hurts so much you can feel the pain all through your body. I always thought the time you share, even if it ends, is worth the pain felt in the end. Tonight, I wonder, "Is it all crap?" the cost of love isn't just the risk of the relationship ending but also the mutual friends. In the recent ending of a relationship, I not only lost a person I truly cared for, but also, a great friend who chose "the other side". She is a co-worker, that I work closely with. I didn't realize we were not OK until I attempted to Facebook her to tell her to have a good weekend, I realized she had unfriended me. Being new to the area, I don't have a stock pile of friends nearby and I value the ones I have. This "unfriending" as petty as it seems means more than not being able to post on each other's Facebook wall. It means I have lost a friend and a confidant. I now have to work with someone who I used to tell everything to and who now hates me. I have never regretted a relationship because I try to learn from even the negative things I encounter. However, this relationship felt like a sinking ship that we kept putting band-aids on. Relationships shouldn't be this hard, road blocks on every corner, two steps forward, three steps back. I loved him and enjoyed our time together, but the pain and loss that it has caused makes me wonder if it is worth it? Knowing now what I was at risk of losing, I would not have entered into this relationship. I have survived several break ups but I have never felt so alone. My first thoughts were I want to quit my job and move home. If that isn't desperation and despair, I don't know what is. I won't give up, I won't go home but it makes me rethink the true cost of entering a relationship.

Just when I think I've got it...

I am told blue is soothing, well at this point, I need all the "soothing" I can get... I am have been stuck at a crossroad for weeks. Literally, WEEKS. Usually, I am a rather "emotional" person I don't mean in the PMS kind of way but rather in the "I know what I want, now I will work to go get it." I feel like I have been drunkenly playing the game Operation and getting buzzed with every attempt at success. I make a decision, take one step in the direction, BUZZZZZZ! Crap. Consult with doctors (ie. friends) and try again... Ok, well option one didn't go so well, new direction... BUZZZZZZ! Shit... Consult with doctors again... Ok, back to option one... BUZZZZZ! Ugh... Now this is just pathetic... What is wrong with me? This isn't me. Make a decision and go with it or no one will want to play with you anymore.
As always, thank you for reading this mindless babble.

I'm back! Same great jewelry, different time zone :)

Oh hello blog readers, do I have blog readers anymore? Pardon my absence, my life has been a changing! I just finished my first year teaching in North Carolina, I came down here in August with the man I thought I’d marry, my cat Airie, and my bird PT. I have since lost the guy and gained a dog named Chloe and a lot more knowledge about myself. So on to the bead front… Bead and Button 2010 was great, I found lots of vintage metal pieces that have slowly but surely become earrings!!! Check in to see what’s new!!!